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I feel I am no longer able to be a functioning member of society. That or maybe I’m one of the few still functioning members. I’m not sure which. I watched Thor: Love and Thunder on Friday night and I think it was pretty good, but my viewing experience was a zero out of 10.

I love going to the movies and I used to love going to the premiere to see the latest blockbuster but now I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back to a premiere movie in town thanks to the people. I truly believe that everyone has lost their minds and forgotten how to behave in a cinema. I kept having to ask my friends if I was a crazy person for getting so annoyed, but they said I was justified, so here we go.

Half the people were late for the cinema and that was about 30 minutes into the movie. The way the theater is set up, when people are late and stand forever in the aisle looking for a seat, they block people in the side rows. I was one of the people in the side row who was lucky enough to be able to watch people looking for their seats in the dark instead of watching the movie.

One of the latecomers and his buddy sat right behind me. Well, whatever, EXCEPT these two were some of the worst movie sinners. They were the play-by-play, laughing, clapping, laughing kick-ass kickers. I knew I was going to have a problem with Sir Laugh’s A Lot when about 20 minutes into the character Darcy came on screen and he literally said, “DARCYYYYY!” Yeah dude we all saw her calm down . This trend continued throughout the ENTIRE film.

Someone also brought a baby to the theater. I’m no expert on babies, but I’m pretty sure Thor isn’t for them and they cry a lot. So thank you for subjecting us all to this. Am grateful.

The people in front of us played musical chairs for most of the film. The two right in front of me I can only guess that they were on their honeymoon or that he just got back from the war based on the way they constantly made out. Brilliant.

What really blew me away was when I witnessed one of cinema’s biggest no-nos. I heard someone talking on their phone. One of the music chair jerks had gotten up from his seat and instead of going to the lobby like a normal person, I don’t know, he was standing by the door in the theater talking on the phone. What the hell?

At this point I was over it. I was so overwhelmed by everyone’s bad behavior that I could only laugh. The guy behind me kept laughing at everything and clapping loudly in my ear when he found something super funny. He kept yelling at his mate about the movie and I counted the minutes until it was over.

It’s okay to enjoy yourself at a movie, but at least be considerate of others. I think I will go to Murfreesboro from now on to catch the latest movies at 10am to avoid this disaster in the future.

Standard reporter Bethany Porter can be reached at 473-2191.

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